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THIS IS WHY

I finally feel I can explain the reasons behind my recent hiatus from blogging. A few things coincided at once a few weeks ago, and it lead to my needing a break from here, and from other things, to fully digest what was going on inside my head. This is why I've been missing.

One; the reality check that was London Fashion Week. After my initial feelings of excitement at receiving a coveted press pass for LFW began to dissolve, I was left with a nagging suspicion - that it was going to be a huge disappointment. With the constant stream of magazines, photographs, tweets, instagram pictures, and more, it's easy to be seduced by what looks like the very glamorous world of fashion - the beautiful people, carrying beautiful designer handbags, who are driven around in beautiful cities, in beautiful cars. The reality, I discovered, even before I walked under the gates to Somerset House, was quite different. Especially if you aren't a "someone".

However, when I arrived, it was with a good heart. I was eager to take whatever I could from the experience, to talk to as many people as possible, and hopefully use whatever contacts I made to help further what I had planned to be a career in fashion, thanks, in part, to the success and enjoyment I have earned from writing this blog.

I won't go into why LFW was so disappointing, because frankly, it's taken me this long to feel I could even face logging into my blog. But let's just say my hopes of feeling like I was part of something at LFW, of being thrown together with a group of interesting people, all with a similar interest, were quickly thwarted. What I saw were people looking sideways at one an other, all wondering where the party was, or worse still, people who believed they were the party. My friend Felix asked me (jokingly?!), "Couldn't you pose hard enough?" That pretty much sums up the gates of Somerset House to me.

This all lead to some serious doubts and considerations as to whether a future in fashion would be a healthy path for me to take (a question I'm still asking myself, but, like the sneaky suspicion I felt weeks before even attending LFW, my gut is telling me otherwise.) I left day 2 feeling hugely depressed about the fashion world, and suddenly, I couldn't face reading any blogs or magazines. Why? I could no longer see the soul in what I was doing.

I'm determined to find a way to keep my blog alive, as it has always been very enjoyable for the most part. However, I want to make sure I channel a little more sincerity into this place, and not just become another fashion blogger contributing to the endless supply of consumerism and mindless posts about what they have bought/want to buy/regrets buying etc, etc, etc. I stopped and asked myself a difficult question I had been avoiding: What does any of this all really mean? Yes, I like to have nice things, but experiences, places, and most of all, people, are the key to my happiness.

The realisation that my interest in fashion and blogging, weren't really feeding my soul, thankfully, coincided with the discovery of something very rewarding and challenging. I have a new hobby - aviation! Okay, maybe that sounded a little dramatic - borderline cheesy, but it's true, I'm learning to fly.

There is nothing like it. I've only had a handful of lessons, but it is truly intoxicating. Being up there, it's a huge tangle of emotions - excitement, fear, pride, nerves. It's as much an experience for your body, as well as your mind - sensory overload.

20 years ago, my father lived on the edge of a little airfield, and he and my mother both learnt to fly. It was a place I always heard a lot about growing up, but we ended up moving away when I was a baby, and continued hopping about from place to place all through my childhood.

A few months ago my parents took a trip back to this place they had once called home, and discovered that, in fact, not much had changed - people were still there, and very happy to see their old friends. These are people who remember me as a baby, so I don't really remember them as such, but feel like I already know them, thanks to the stories my parents told me and my sister, more often than not, on the long drive to our next temporary home. Discovering this place was like coming home - a feeling I had never experienced, and always yearned for.

I hope this explains my lack of updates. You see, over the last few weeks, I've had my head in the clouds, quite literally at times.

This is me starting a new chapter. A positive one, and hopefully, a more meaningful one.
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34 comments

  1. Good for you. Ah, to know how to fly without drugs.

    /Avy

    http://mymotherfuckedmickjagger.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks! Flying is like a drug haha :)

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  2. Hi! I just wanted to say how much I relate to what you say - my experiences at the fashion front line (so to speak) have been similar to yours - working for a fashion PR company in London (where my job, apparently, was to carry people's expensive handbags around) made me seriously reconsider the dream I had harboured for years of working for a fashion magazine. Like you, I realised it lacked any integrity. However, I would be lying to say I didn't still have a place for style in my heart - I do still read magazines, blogs and get excited over new clothes, but it's hobby now, rather than a life plan. We need to do more rewarding things with our lives! Your blog is one of my favourites - I always find it so inspiring and down to earth. Keep your love of style alive, keep inspiring people - it would be a great shame to see such a lovely blog disappear - but keep your life enriching for yourself too (and avoid those jaded fashionistas!)

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    1. Hello :) Thank you very much for sharing your thoughts and kind words. I'm determined to continue blogging, as like you, I will always be interested in fashion, but it's all about balance, and keeping your priorities in line. I had been putting all my eggs in one basket, and LFW was very eye opening to the less appealing side of working in fashion. Finding a new interest made me realise that fashion wasn't the be all and end all for me. I hope I can keep blogging in a more positive way about fashion, amongst other things. :)

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  3. Yea, sometimes I have the same feelings, it's just so crazy sometimes when you think about all the craziness of fashion week. But I do still like it for myself when I can just be me.
    And that is so exciting that you're learning to fly! I would never be brave enough!
    http://www.closet-fashionista.com

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    1. Yes, it's all a balancing act, I think. You can be interested in fashion and still have integrity, but it can feel like a slippery slop at times! Thank you so much :)

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  4. love this post, and that photo of you of course! that's literally amazing that you're learning to fly, must be such an adrenaline rush. i agree how fashion week can feel super mindless..i just try to just stick with good friends and take it easy. i hope you continue to blog babe, you rock. x

    natalieoffduty.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you, Natalie!

      You have such a great attitude towards fashion week! I think I would have enjoyed it a lot more if I'd had a group of good friends around me. It's easy to feel quite lost and small at those places.

      I'll keep blogging :) x

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  6. Well done Becky :)

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  7. I work in the belly of the industry, behind the curtains, but in a position where I know the inner workings of many fashion companies.

    In short, it's not about fashion. It's about money and ego. You hear the same conversations at haute couture houses and mass-market fashion outfits, all revolving around the same core themes:

    - The customer is a mindless drone to be mined.
    - Products need only be "not terrible".
    - Momentous decisions are made by lifestyle owners with egos the size of planets, who are utterly detached from both their customer and their company.

    The fashion industry (industry... says it all) is sick. The market is cornered by a number of huge players (for instance, see the Hargreaves family who are making a land-grab to consolidate beyond Matalan, or perhaps the Arcadia group, who own a lot more than they talk about), and it's very, very tough for a small player to compete with a £1bn marketing budget.

    That all said, the above applies to virtually any industry you care to name, and it's definitely not impossible to hustle your way to the top.

    You might just lose your soul doing it, though.

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    1. That's very refreshing to hear (and quite chilling!). Thank you for sharing.

      It's fascinating learning about the ins and outs of the industry. As you say, that word itself sums it up to perfection. It's not a world aimed at individuals as it might have you believe, and I personally, would prefer to sit from a safe distance and keep my own ideas and integrity intact.

      I always preferred reading blogs to magazines, you feel like you are listening to a real person, someone you can relate to, rather than a business trying to sell you the "ideal" body/handbag/holiday/lifestyle/etc. Hopefully, I'll find a way to write about fashion in a positive way on this blog.

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  8. I was wondering where you went!

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  9. Well Becky, most important is that you keep your own fashion taste and shop in Bath <3, your posts always give me a great desire to 'fly' over there. )

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    1. Thank you so much. I am very touched x

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  10. This is great, thank you so much for this post. As somebody that does not in any way work in fashion (my career is in the health industry), I have always wondered what its REALLY like! Through our computer screens we only see the pretty things and the smiling faces but Ive always wondered... how great IS it? I hope you continue to blog :) x

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  11. Becky will be very surprised to find her own dad adding a comment, but I just wanted to express my admiration for Becky. I should explain that we are not rich people, and that flying aeroplanes is only possible by scrimping and saving, and by not having holidays and nice cars etc. But nevertheless it remains a privilege, and we know it. Becky is a lovely girl. Me and her mum are proud of her. Mike

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  12. Reach for the skies Becky May. You can achieve anything if you put your mind to it. How refreshingly honest this is about the fashion world - keep on with your writing because it's rare to hear such clear insights x

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  13. I wondered where you'd been...would never have guessed you'd been flying planes, how amazing! I think you're incredibly brave, I'm a total wimp when it comes to flying.
    It's a shame that fashion week was a bit of a letdown, what you say is always the impression I've got from it all anyway. But one of the reasons I've been a long time reader of your blog is because I think it's the opposite of all of that...it comes across as being truly about style and you always seem to stay true to yourself which I love. Very inspiring! Anyway, sending you lots of happiness and positive vibes...and keep us updated on your flying! xxx

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  14. Hi Becky, I've been a long-time reader of your blog, though I don't comment that often. I just wanted to say I've always enjoyed your blog and it's become my favourite blog to check over the years so I hope you continue to blog, even if it's more about your aviation adventures than about fashion. I've drawn a lot of inspiration from your blog over the years and please don't think you are contributing to the consumerism of the fashion industry, as it was your DETOX post that got me to reconsider my own shopping habits in the first place (I think I've mentioned this before in a previous comment). Fashion blogging has changed a lot over the last couple years, but I love your blog because you've stayed authentic and true to yourself. If flying, not fashion, is the next stage in your life then please keep us updated on that! xxx

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  15. Hi Becky

    What a well written and honest post. I do hope you keep blogging outfits though as clothes and fashion can still be fun when not taken too seriously (and selfishly I just like to see what you are wearing).

    Good name by the way.

    Rebecca

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  16. This is why... you are my favorite blogger :) Don't be another Betty, who is paid by brands to show us her marvelllouuuus lifestyle, made of fashion parties and trips around the world. You are very inspiring, mostly because I have the same approach to clothes and style as you. I tend to have a long-term vision for my clothes and shoes, if I may say. Quality over quantity is my mantra.
    Cheers from a french girl in Paris (my frenchness could explain some spelling mistakes, sorry!)

    Flo

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  17. I can relate to what you have said in this post a great deal. I have fallen out of love with fashion as of late and I just can't seem to get my love of it back. I used to read the likes of Vogue avidly, now I pick one up occasionally then wonder why I bothered. I now just focus on my personal style and what I like and enjoy wearing, because at the end of the day I still love clothes, just not in the wasteful way that the fashion industry seems to go about it. I think what actually ruined it for me was the over-saturation of fashion and excessive consumerism of certain types of bloggers (not you I hasten to add.) This is why I've always loved reading your blog, you've always followed your own personal style and not done what everyone else has.

    Anyway I imagine flying is far more fulfilling and exciting than fashion!

    Joan x

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  18. Hi Becky,

    Over the last maybe 4 or 5 years, my interest in fashion and style blogs has fluctuated quite a bit. However, yours is one of the few that I've followed regularly. What I love about your blog is the character and thought that accompanies the beautifully shot pictures, and the sincere and thoughtful voice that you write in - neither overly exuberant or materialistic, but full of the genuine excitement and enthusiasm that a girl who is confident of her style has. It's the kind of sincerity and love of individuality and self-expression that the fashion world, and the world of blogging in general, lacks.

    So I get the disillusionment and the disappointment that you got from LFW - and while I don't wish that on anyone, I'm really happy that on the way you've picked up something you truly love, that is uplifting (puns!) and exciting in a more fulfilling way than fashion and blogging is...because after all, at the end of the day, they're just clothes. And while it's great to enjoy them, and to enjoy being able to express yourself with what you wear, there is a world of infinite possibilities with a lot of life to be lived out there, and it's not to be missed, you know?

    That said, I'm happy that you will continue to share with us, and I'm really excited to follow your aviation adventures and to occasionally catch glimpses of what you wear while you're on them. Keep being wonderful!

    xo, Kaye

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  19. Hi Becky,

    Thanks for this post! Very glad to read that you plan on sticking around! You had me worried! I love your blog. You have style, rather than a subscription to seasonal fashions. With that comes an appreciation of quality over quantity. There are so many reasons why other 'fashion' blogs bug me. The plethora of "'c/o' this" and "I want to buy *that*" (link out to X store, so the blogger makes a quick buck) - those blogs, in my view, have lost their integrity and appeal. As a regular person, I like to see how regular people style their clothes for everyday wear, with a view to making better use of my wardrobe. Seriously, who walks around in a tutu, fluro top and heels? Also, who purposely and routinely buys anything with the intention of only wearing it once?

    Although I've never been to a fashion event, nor do I have a blog or work in the industry, I have at times become very consumed with 'fashion' and excessive consumerism, as opposed to 'style'. It's so easy to get caught up in the craze - and all you end up with is a bunch of clothes you wont want to wear in 6 months.Your blog really helped me get back on track! Thank you! I think it's great that you have hobbies outside of fashion. It will keep you true and your blog interesting :) Also, you're so lucky to have established a sense of style and identity at such a young age!
    All the best, Rebecca

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  20. Your outfit is simple but I love it <3

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  21. things we not often hear , realities we not oftne face .well done you are being yourself and tell what you believe and what you really figure out of what is today's fashion buisness...
    I wish you the best on your new start on your brand new beginning !
    Well done !
    ksz
    christina
    www.lifein-style.com

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  22. things we not often hear , realities we not oftne face .well done you are being yourself and tell what you believe and what you really figure out of what is today's fashion buisness...
    I wish you the best on your new start on your brand new beginning !
    Well done !
    ksz
    christina
    www.lifein-style.com

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  23. I actually stumbled upon your shop on my way to the train station but unfortunately it was a Sunday. I love your honesty. Few wrote about the reality of FW. I've only had the privilege of attending a few shows but have never actively seeked out tickets. I've met truly wonderful individuals but I've also came across plenty of arrogant and self serving ones too. I guess it's because I sit on the fringe of the fashion industry and have an independent voice that I can take it all with a pinch of salt and chuckle about the ridiculous circus surrounding the FW. On the flip side, I was given a wonderful opportunity to meet inspiring individuals.

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  24. I can't tell you how excited I am at the new direction of your blog :) I was wondering where it was going after Flower Girl started evolving slowly...It's funny I had a similar period of frustration/reassessment recently too. And similarly I found something that makes me happy! Yoga. It's interesting how fashion bloggers grow more and less commercial over time. I love the ones that throw all the rules for a successful blog out the window and just write what they're feeling. I can tell you're headed in that direction.

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  25. Wow, it sounds like your experiences at LFW sure put a lot of things into perspective. I must say there are times where at events- fashion week, runway shows, launches etc, I look around and find a bunch of people with more money than sense eyeballing one another, whispering to friends, and then later stumbling out drunk on complimentary champagne. It is really lame. I think at times I will give up accepting invites to these things, and often won't cover them for the blog if they aren't great anyway.

    Making friends with a few non-judgmental and down-to-earth people has really been the only thing that kept me going. I do introduce myself to new bloggers, and often find the reception mixed- it is weird that some will only be friendly after they have sussed out your number of followers or something. I don't have time for that sort of behavior.

    The designers I have met over the years have actually been lovely, and often seem like strong willed creatives caught up with bossy 'fashion' people. Over the past months I have been re-evaluating my own blog, and trying to figure out the why/ what/ etc. For example I am into nutrition and those sorts of things, so am planning to incorporate a few other areas than just fashion into the content. I feel like if you write something that appeals to you, but is also something that people will want to discuss outside of a blogging context, then that maintains your own, and also your blogs integrity.
    It is sad to hear you found the whole FW experience diss-heartening, but I am encouraged to see that you evaluated, made plans and continued on. Your words, content and images do come across as genuine and interesting.
    PS, as I have been reading ahead, I love the studio time you have put in, those are really beautiful.
    xx Jenelle

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